“Seven years, Dawn. Working with the Slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful… a witch. A demon. Hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit, but come a full moon, he had a wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful, all of them. And I’m the guy who fixes the windows.
They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn’t Chosen, to live so near the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody’s watching me.

I saw you last night, and I see you working here today. You’re not special; you’re extraordinary.”

Xander Harris (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)


Favorite Weekend Update Jokes

"In his State of the Union Address, President Bush announced a new initiative to keep young people out of gangs, a new program called Do Right And Follow Through (D.R.A.F.T.)." —Tina Fey

"Condoleezza Rice made a surprise trip to Iraq on Sunday. Also surprised to be in Iraq on Sunday: thousands of U.S. troops who were supposed to be home by Christmas." —Amy Poehler

"Tom DeLay’s mug shot was released on Thursday. Even creepier, it was taken while he watched someone drown a bag of kittens." —Amy Poehler


"While trying to defend his nomination of Harriet Miers, President Bush admitted he and Miers had never discussed abortion. Said Bush, ‘Luckily it turned out to be a false alarm.’" —Amy Poehler

"Last week, the city of Boston sparked controversy when it renamed the giant spruce tree in Boston Common a holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree. Also, the city’s nativity scene will now be referred to as the Holiday Homeless Family." —Tina Fey

"A new poll reveals that 56% of Americans believe that Wal-Mart is bad for the country, while the other 44% work there." —Amy Poehler

"To show that his energy bill is about more than drilling for oil in Alaska. This week President Bush visited a plant in Virginia that turned soy beans into a clean burning diesel fuel. Which the president hopes one day will be used to fuel oil drilling machines in Alaska " —Tina Fey

"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s popularity has been slipping in recent months as residents slowly begin to realize they elected Arnold Schwarzenegger to be their governor." —Tina Fey

"It was reported that House Majority Leader Tom DeLay took several ethically questionable golf trips paid for by foreign lobbyists and that his wife and daughter were paid $500,000 from his own political action committee. DeLay referred to the allegations as ‘just another seedy attempt by the liberal media to embarrass me with my own actions words and illegal doings.’" —Tina Fey

"It’s been reported that in the event of an emergency situation with North Korea the U.S. is prepared to send 70% of the Marine Corps to the region. According to President Bush this will still allow us to send another 70% to Iran and keep our other 70% in Iraq." —Tina Fey

"A leading Republican said Sunday that President Bush is so worried about Social Security that he is only able to sleep ten hours a night." —Tina Fey

"In the wake of a successful Iraqi elections President Bush’s job approval rating has jumped up to 57% or, as high school teachers call it, an F." —Tina Fey

"President Bush threw out the first pitch Monday at Cincinnati’s great American ball park. 18 Iraqis were killed." —Amy Poehler

"According to Washington insiders, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan could be the next official to leave the Bush administration. McClellan says he’d like to spend more time lying for his family" —Amy Poehler

"South Dakota Gov. Mike Rounds on Monday signed legislation banning almost all abortions in the state. As a result, South Dakota is changing its motto from ‘Under God, the People Rule’ to ‘You should have thought of that before prom.’" —Tina Fey


Oh golly







"Dawn, listen to me, listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles… tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I’m okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other.You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world-is to live in it. Be brave. Live… for me." -Buffy
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The Gift)